Socially Connected, Movement from a Distance

by Marlees West, Program Director, Frisoli Youth Center

As an extrovert, movement has long been my only solitary activity. Long runs help me center myself and  release some of my excess energy before I connect with others. In the last year, pilates has helped me to get ready for a day of: connecting to staff and young people and families; talking and learning, and teaching and thinking. By myself, at the end of the day, pilates helps me process everything that I learned, heard, and felt.

Like all of us, physical distancing has rocked my world.
I no longer have all those in-person social interactions to feed my extroverted soul. So, I created “Socially Distant Pilates People." I made my daily exercise routine a social time, initially with just a small group of 4. Over the last few weeks, our community has now grown to include more than 20 people. We 'FaceTime' ten minutes a day, once a day, every day, to do pilates together. That’s it! But that short ten minutes (followed by a virtual dance party) has felt really good. It’s kept me connected to my own identity as a teacher and facilitator (and now as an amateur pilates instructor!) and to my friends and family and friends of friends. It’s quickly become the best part of my day, lifting my mood and energy, and jump starting my creativity. I feel connected.

---

I started to wonder why it feels so good and why it feels like it works so well. 
Reflecting with friends and with myself, helped me to identify the following five key ingredients:

1. Keep the format simple. It’s ten minutes every day, That’s it! During this crazy time in our lives, we all need some predictability. I have 2 times we do pilates. That’s it! It means that there’s one thing in the day, during this time of uncertainty, when we know what to expect.
2. Let the network grow. It started off with 4 friends and family members who I trusted not to make fun of me as I stumbled through facilitating an arm workout. It has become a community of more than 20 folks (spanning 5 generations!) who are old friends, new friends, someone’s sister, or another one’s daughter. That’s a big part of the value - being in community with the people outside of our household, or even our family. It’s easy in our isolation to seek connection only with those closest to us. Our middle school youth know better than all of us that relationships (both new and old) are important. Connection is a huge part of what keeps us healthy and happy.  Connecting with those outside our closest circle also helps us to stay healthy.
3. Create active roles! Like any good youth worker knows, rotating roles increases buy-in to an activity and helps keep routines fresh and exciting. We have a different DJ every time for the dance party, a new person might do a roll call. Sharing leadership makes me less afraid to try a new flow as I get better at describing what I am doing with my body.
4. We celebrate! We cheer each other on for accomplishments, birthdays, for big moves!
5. It’s always a choice, but it’s also non-negotiable. I miss the structure of going into Frisoli, of staff arriving at 2:15 and youth arriving at 3:00, of traveling for sports games on Fridays. As human beings, we need structure,  and without that structure the number of choices can overwhelm us. To have activities that we can’t move around provides us with a sense of safety.  We meet at a set time and it’s not up for debate. Everyone can answer the call or not - there’s no pressure or judgement! 

While I don’t know how long our physical distancing will last, I am thinking about what lessons I can take back with me when we are back together in the same space. Physical distancing has made me a little bit braver and helped me to try something new. I wonder what aspects of being home create a sense of safety for us and how we can recreate that feeling in out of school time when we are together again. And I hope we all find small and big ways to be braver in our connections while we remain apart.
Until we can be physically together again, I recommend some actions you can take:

• Call a family member who may be quarantining alone,
• Organize a group call with a new group of friends.
• Ask your household-mates if you can share a new skill with them, or if they can share one with you!

In whatever way feels right and possible for you right now, let’s all find a way to stay connected.

---

If you'd like to share resources with your colleagues,  tell us how you are coping and healing, and helping the youth and families that you work with to heal, and continuing to find joy while we are physically apart,  please submit a blog post by emailing.  Here are some tips to help get you started. ​​

---