MSN October Meeting Recap: Making Connections

Thanks to all of you who came out for our October MSN meeting - while it was a little bittersweet to be back on Zoom, we got back into the groove of Connection Groups and using the chat quickly, and got to hear some great examples from folks across our network.

Check out the October Meeting slides here and see below for Community Announcements and some of the great practices shared by your colleagues. Also in the slides: see the meeting topics and themes proposed by network members at our Sept kickoff, and check out the resources we gathered from the Office of Workforce Development (how to get your postings spread wider, etc) for those of you hiring OST staff. 

Community Announcements:

• Barb MacEachern, STEAM Initiative: Steam it UP Event Oct 20th at PAUS (Putnam Ave Upper School). This year, this event will have a middle school section of hands on activities for your young people and your staff: bring them! 
• Tagesech Wabeto, Commission on Immigrant Right and Citizenship: The Commission has a once a month immigration clinic on the 3rd Wednesday of each month from 5:30-7:15, which is now virtual but may start back in person in January. We have flyers on our website in all the relevant languages and can share resources if you send them over. Email [email protected]​.

Making connections: who are the young people standing in front of me?

The majority of our meeting we spent talking about the ways that we try to get to know young people at the start of the year in our programs. In doing this, we navigate multiple tensions that can’t be totally avoided (see slide below). For example, young people need to feel psychological safety and know that you won’t put them on the spot to answer deep and meaningful questions before they are comfortable; however, you also want to communicate that you care about more than just surface level information on the way to building a deeper relationship. ​

We got to hear from a few MSN members talking about how they navigate these tensions - and sharing super helpful examples of what they actually do in their programming: 
 
Ben Godfrey, Program Director of the Pre-Teen/Middle School Program at the Moore Youth Center (moved from the Moses Youth Center!) shared two tools and his thinking behind them: 
​

• A list of paired questions for circles, to be used in those first few weeks of programming. By pairing questions, young people have some choice in what feels best to respond to. Questions are also calibrated for depth - most can be answered in one word so that it’s easy for those who are not feeling comfortable quite yet. Ben also shared a brilliant point about asking about “something you like” or “you watched recently” rather than asking for “favorites”  - since that is not only a hard question to answer, but makes young people feel that they will be singularly defined by this one answer (have you ever been asked to pick a favorite movie?). That’s a lot of pressure for the first week in a new program with new peers! 

• A short and easy family questionnaire that they have families fill out -  asking for young people’s 2-3 favorite activities and 1-2 preferred snacks. This little bit of info, he explained, can give his staff a little leg up in terms of planning the snack menu, the activities, and giving a little insight from families (who know their kids best) to help staff jumpstart their own relationship with young people.​

Bo Lembo and Melinda Rosado also shared some brilliant examples from Gately’s Middle School Program:
​

• Bo talked about using a storytelling approach - with ‘adult prompting’ and ‘individual curation’ where students get to determine which information to share. They build in this approach by using it all the time with staff, who become experts on it. Usually prompts begin with “tell me about a time when…..” and they set strong boundaries and model it for young people so that young people know they can “share what they need without sharing too much.” Staff also explicitly check in at the end of the day (with each other) to share what they learned about young people - what they liked, what they learned about what scares them, what motivates them….so they can all benefit from learning as a team.

• Melinda told us all about the Gately “Vibe Check” and her deliberate approach to shifting the language to be friendly and real for middle schoolers. Using the 4 Needs of Middle Schoolers as a template, she talked about the Gately “3P's and 1V” (see right) that young people get to know and always refer to. For a Vibe Check, she asks “How are you feeling in the moment - what’s your vibe?” and asks young people to give a 1-5 on their hand, then give them the opportunity to share why (while being clear they don’t have to - still, about 50% want to share). This is different - in many ways - than asking a middle schooler “how was your day?” and acknowledges how quickly vibes can shift, the many reasons behind them, and doesn’t put pressure on young people to explain before they are ready, but still encourages reflection and sharing with the adults and peers.

---

Lastly, I shared two resources (see slides). 
​

• 4 Developmental Needs of Middle Schoolers (and worksheet): The first, which Melinda Maxwell previewed already, is the 4 needs of middle schoolers, which can be used in staff training, in planning lessons, and in talking about what we want to know and build on with young people.

 

• “Along” App: I’ve heard about this from folks using it in schools, as a new way to nurture individual relationships with students. It uses a format they are quite familiar with - text, video or audio on their cell phones - to give a safer, 1 to 1 opportunity to answer questions posed by a teacher or youth worker in the app. Not a new idea - but maybe a new application and mode for reaching young people who aren’t as verbal in person, who fly under the radar, or who really want that individual relationship with you as an adult but don’t know how to build it on their own. ​

So long for now...

As most of you know (especially if you’ve seen me in person!), I’ll be on maternity leave soon, welcoming my second baby to the family. I love this group and hearing from you all and what you can learn from each other. There will be more joint meetings with ESON while I’m gone, but still many opportunities to share examples, ask questions and move as a group towards giving young people what they need and making sure they are engaged in great programming across the city. I’ll be back in late February - just in time to pester you all about going into Upper Schools to advertise summer programs!